The One with Einstein's Theory

...of relativity. The laws of physics are unchanging for everyone, no matter whether you’re accelerating towards parenthood or getting all proud when your proxy-child (the Roomba) has learned not to topple down the stairs. 

NEAUXP SORRY not that theory. Here at PWB we’re not about taking scientific theorems and twisting them to fit the needs of our content. (What is this, the Big Bang Theory!?) 

Anyway. Storytime! 

Once upon a time, I dropped out of grad school. Because of Einstein’s (attributed) theory...of insanity. Basically, he had a fun little ditty that went: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. 

In grad school, I was tasked for the first time with the opportunity to go beyond exams and experiments that covered things we already knew...to trying to make Science (capital S) happen on my own; to design experiments to figure out the answers to questions we didn’t know. 

And boy, did I suck at it. 

Designing experiments. Doing them correctly. Having the precision, patience, and perseverance to get matching, consistent results in triplicate. I couldn’t do any of it. Finally, after a literal YEAR of doing the EXACT SAME experiment OVER AND OVER without getting ANY results, my PI sat me down and asked what I thought I was doing. 

Bewildered, I looked at her, and said that I was trying to do the science to learn the thing. 

She pointed out that I was doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. 

I nodded, uncomprehending, and probably wrote that down in my lab notebook and pondered it with all the wisdom of a hungry flamingo for about four minutes. Before then turning around and spending three more months. Doing the same thing. Over and over again. Every single day. 

I felt trapped, I felt like I wasn’t in control, I felt helpless. SUPER fun. Luckily, around this time, I met Ted, finally realized that I sucked at doing the science, and decided that getting a job that allowed me to have a life and decent pay would make literally everything better, so I left.

Anyway. Trapped. Not in control. Helpless. Doing the same thing, over and over, hoping for different results. Sound familiar? 

Trying to make a baby, doing all the things that you’re supposed to do for that to happen, seeing null preg test after null preg test, and knowing that you have no option but to do the same thing, over and over, and hope for a different result...that can be...a lot. (Which, I mean, trying can also be fun, I don’t want to make our marriage sound that sad.)

But. But. 

Vis-a-vis our attempts at building our family, we’ve been kinda actually going insane. By Einstein’s definition. SO FUN! 

Realizing that simple fact, however, has helped. Because, like, we’re not going to stop trying to have a kid.

What we can do, to save our sanity, is to introduce different...hypotheses? into the situation? 

(I want you to know when I started this I sincerely didn’t think it would be the geekiest thing in the world, but here we are.) 

What I mean by that: Instead of focusing on ‘we’re doing the same thing, over and over, and expecting different results’, we’re going to focus on what we can change. My diet, for example. Exercise. Stress levels. Some not-crazy-expensive interventions, care of my OBGYN. That way, it’ll feel like we’re still learning something as we go along, even if we don’t get the result that we want to see. 

In these chapters, I want to -- for funsies, for the experience, to see if they work, to delve into the underlying science or anthropology or idk -- do some of the slightly more esoteric fertility-aimed experiments, as long as they’re safe, fun, and harmless. If I find a 30 day yoga challenge aimed at getting blood flow to the ovaries, sign me up. Cycle syncing? I’m there. Pre-conception juice fast? I mean, no way, but I’ll drink juice anytime. Acupuncture? Needles are scary, so I’ll probably stick to that as a last resort;  but I’m theoretically game once it’s safe to step outside my front door. Fertility tacos? TCM? Meditating about eggs? All of the above? I do believe we’re in for a moderately interesting time. 

Ready for the first two? They’ll go up about a week after these first intro chapters have gone up. Don’t go anywhere! (Or, rather, please do, but please come back. We’ll be gazing at my website stats almost as affectionately as we do our Roomba, oohing and aahing every time the hit counter increases.) 

Read about our crash-course experience with Clomid on July 5th.

For something completely different, check out our initial experiment with Traditional Chinese Medicine on July 12.