Sleeping Beauty: Part V

Welcome back! We're going through Charles Perrault's OG Sleeping Beauty tale with some initial thoughts before later delving in for deeper analysis. If it helps, his text is here. For some reason, he isn't really taking my advice, though, so reader beware: it gets weird.

We left off last time with Sleeping Beauty and the Prince (well, we're assuming he's a prince, Chaz helpfully keeps his royal status extremely ambiguous) chatting merrily after the princess has woken up.

It’s a whole new day for the entire castle, who all woke up when the princess was cured. (They had four hours to clean themselves up, though, while the prince/king’s son and the princess had their first, wholly awkward tete-a-tete.) After that, though, “since they were not all in love, they presently began to feel mortally hungry.” Good to know that the cures for hunger include a) food, and b) true love. People need to eat more in these stories.

It sounds like at least one of the princess’s long-slumbering subjects agrees with me! (Hi!) There must be some “no-one eats until the Royal Fam eats” rule, though – which makes sense, isn’t there something similar over in present-day England? – because the castle got up, got moving, and prepared a huge feast for everyone; but they couldn’t eat until the princess left her room. So, after four hours, one servant gets fed up and calls the princess to dinner. 

We get a cute moment from the v. new couple wherein the prince/king’s son notices, once the princess stands up, that the clothes she’s wearing are so last century. It’s okay, though, because he immediately decides that “in truth, they no way detracted from her beauty.” He’s a sixteen-year-old kid (I think), so, that sounds about right. 

The v. new couple go to the dining room, which is “an apartment hung with mirrors,” because that’s not creepy. Courtiers who fell asleep with their instruments in their hands wake up playing the fiddle and the oboe for them as they eat, which CP notes is remarkable, because they hadn’t played for one hundred years. (Muscle memory win!) 

After dinner, they get married. That was fast. They are then “attended by the courtiers in waiting” en route to the bedroom. Man, I hate those wedding night viewing parties, they make me v. squeam. But, I suppose that’s how things happened? (CP seems determined to make me think about two teens who barely know each other having sex: “They slept but little, however. Indeed, the princess did not have much need for sleep. The prince took his leave of her in the morning.” Thanks, Chaz. Where was this transparency when we were talking about the OG king+queen and their fertility issues?) 

The prince leaves the Newly Woke Castle and heads back to the Secondary Castle to talk with the current king—his father. A lot has happened since yesterday! His poor dad had stayed up all night (much like his son) in extreme panic (unlike his son) because he thought that the prince had maybe gotten lost/gotten dead while on his hunting trip. Life was rough before quick, remote communication was a thing. 

For some reason, the prince decides to lie to the king. He says that he’d gotten lost, but he’d found a hovel belonging to a hospitable peasant and crashed there? And that the peasant was a charcoal burner? And that they’d eaten black bread and cheese together? I mean, if you’re going to lie, go all in, I guess. Details make lies believable. But – why lie? Did the prince wake up and realize that his parents wouldn’t be jazzed about him upping and marrying the 116-year-old heir to the previous royal dynasty, or possibly his great-grand aunt, depending on how succession did or did not work? No way! 

The king believes this story. The queen, not so much. This is partially because the prince proceeds to try and continue the lie…for two years, “going hunting” just about every day, and conveniently staying with his “friend”, the “charcoal burner” every time he’s OOO for more than a couple of days. Right. Poor king. He must really, really have a reason for wanting to believe his son.

In the two year interim, the princess and the prince have two kiddos, a girl and a boy, named “Dawn” and “Day”. Reasoning for the names are as follows: the girl was beautiful, so they named her after the sunrise: and the boy “seemed even more beautiful than his sister”, so they named him after the rest of the awake-time. Right. They definitely don’t have a favorite. Also, “Day” is a stupid name. But at least they get names. 

Back to the Secondary Castle, where the queen is rightfully very suspicious of her son’s lifestyle. She tells him to settle down. She tries to get him to spill his stories. 

OH MY FLIPPING PLOT TWIST: Turns out there’s a reason that the prince doesn’t trust his mom. She’s an ogre. The king had married her because he needed money; and the now-queen was a rich ogre who wanted to be queen. Oh my word! 

Rumor has it that, as an ogre, “she has ogrish instincts” (….okay) and “when little children were near her, she has the greatest difficulty in the world to keep herself from pouncing on them.” 

Quick sidebar to say that, esp for a 750 word story, this was reasonably well foreshadowed. Nice going, CP! 

Okay, back in. This is relatively horrifying, and a great reveal. It also makes some things which had seemed odd make a LOT more sense, which CP smugly notes: “No wonder the prince was reluctant to say a word.” Okay, Charles, fine, you win. 

Couple of things, though: Firstly, if this is really a rumor which is going around the courts, it shouldn’t be. Either the queen has eaten a toddler, or she hasn’t. I know these people living in “Before 1690” had relatively short attention spans and ungreat note-taking systems, but this seems like the kind of thing you’d remember. Secondly—even if the queen is homicidal, she clearly can show restraint, and has: the prince made it to maturity, which is good news for … all of us. Seeing as you’ve made this ogre a part of your family, it’s probably a good idea to make the best of a weird situation and sit the ogre down and make it clear that there will be no people-chewing allowed. Actually, if you’re the king, your marriage (whether it was propelled by bankruptcy or not) would have been a great opportunity to make peace between ogres and humans, set up some alternative sources of food for them, and maybe run an “Ogres Are People Too” campaign or three, because for better or for worse the ogre is now your wife and that brings with it certain responsibilities. 

But none of this happened, and it’s probably a better story for it. But, still, PSA for those considering inter-species marriages in the future. (Second point: the prince is half-ogre, and we’re just not going to mention or deal with that fact?) Anyway. 

So, reveal, the king and the prince/king’s son have been unnecessarily living in fear their entire lives, what are you gonna do. The prince/king’s son is hiding his family from his mom, because Dawn and Day are her ideas of sumptuous snacks—or would be if she knew about them. Got it. 

The story moves forward another two years. The king dies. The prince ascends to the throne. At this point he’s like, whatever, I’m the king, I do what I want. So he brings his wife – the princess, whom CP is now calling a “royal consort” though it does appear she has every claim to the title of “queen”, but, whatever, succession laws not clear in 750 word story – and two kiddos home to live with him in the castle.

This will end well. We out.