The One Where We're on Pins and Needles
This week's installment is brought to you by Facebook comment wars, long car trips, Pretty Little Liars, the bat who flew into our bathroom, and our TCM 101 post. Let's jump right in. Enjoy!
Quick intro: I'm a 28-yo woman with PCOS, and I'm throwing the proverbial kitchen sink at my body, metaphorically. For the past six weeks or so, that's included acupuncture. Here's what I've learned...
How does acupuncture work?
When I first called to schedule an appointment, I had zero idea what to expect. I didn't know if I'd be able to afford it. I didn't know if they'd laugh at me when I said that I needed help with infertility. I just had a vague idea based on amateur research that sometimes TCM can help women who inexplicably can't get pregnant. And I had a phone number. When I typed 'acupuncturist' into my insurance app, two names came up that might be in-network. I'd chosen the one with a website that looked like it wasn't from 1987.
First up: The receptionist spent a good twenty minutes on the phone with me on that first cold call. (No really, who does that.) She told me all about how insurance companies work with acupuncture, how their center operates, and a few women that she's watched go through infertility treatments. Crucially, she also told me that their center has two ways of offering treatment: Individual acupuncture, and community.
Apparently 'community acupuncture' is a very traditional/popular thing in China? I'd never heard of it. The receptionist told me that now was a good time to check it out...because, due to their COVID precautions, there were only ever a couple of people in the community room.
It was also, like, way cheaper than individual acupuncture. I felt like I could give it a go, at least once, even if I was paying out of pocket. (Each session costs about what a manicure costs? I think? I don't get my nails done but that sounds familiar.)
I made an appointment, wrote ACUPUNCTURE ADVENTURE in my calendar on a Monday morning, and nervously waited.
When I got there, I said hey to the receptionist, got my temp taken, and was whisked to a waiting room that looked more like an aspirational living room Pinterest board. There were vases full of peacock feathers. There was a thick chinoiserie rug covering the floor. Essential oil diffusers everywhere. It smelled lovely (herbal, medicinal) and the light was nicely dimmed.
But it was also a very corporate rental unit, with tiled ceilings and white walls. There were TONS of reading materials, from books about acupressure points and Eastern medicine to circulars about toxins one might encounter in daily life. I also found a few Popular Science's strewn among the mags, which I thought was likely a somewhat careful placement. (I was 10/10 skeptical, even after my TCM 101 post, because that's just how I do).
The acupuncturist - a very thin, kind, quiet man in his forties, maybe fifties - invited me into a consult room. In there, I babbled for a while about my infertility, my cycle, my charts, my anxiety, etc. He listened patiently and took copious notes. He then asked me a few questions: How was I sleeping? How were my relationships going? What about my digestion? Could he see my tongue? (He could. I quickly replaced my mask afterward.)
He then somewhat briskly said that he thought he could help, and, if I felt comfortable, we could start now. Okay! We went into the community acupuncture room. Imagine your typical apartment gym.....now, take away all the machines and, instead, put three chairs and a cot. The lights are dim. There's music and nature sounds playing. It's cool, which feels nice, because it's July, at this point.
He invited me to take a chair. I did. It reclined. The ambient niceness continued. He quietly narrated to me exactly what he was doing as he did it. He started by feeling my pulse at both wrists. He palpated my throat and the back of my neck. Then, rubbing alcohol: He took a cotton ball, wetted it, and passed it over two points on each arm and two points on each foot. From a sealed container he then took a small wax paper envelope of pins, which he deftly took out and capped before very swiftly poking it into my skin at the eight points he'd swabbed.
I didn't feel a thing. He then smiled, invited me to relax, and told me he'd be back soon.
He left. It was just me, my pins, the soft sounds of a waterfall, and this painting:
I was a lil worried that I'd get bored out of my mind, but, actually? I almost fell asleep. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS TO ME NORMALLY. I listened to the sounds, closed my eyes, tried to notice if I could feel anything different about my arms and feet (I couldn't), and just kinda chilled...until I woke with a start when the acupuncturist knocked and came back in. He chuckled, whipped out the pins, and told me to come back twice a week. I made another appointment on my way out.
We're five or six weeks out, now. That's still pretty much what happens. Sometimes I get pins in my ears. (Those hurt a little more, but it's just a pinch? And sometimes a dull ache? But nothing big.) I've graduated to three pins in each foot. When I came in and was on my cycle, he put little cords on the pins so my feet and arms were connected. Sometimes there's been one other person in the community room, but it's mostly quite solo.
Okay, but no, really, how does it work?
Initially, this is something that I tried not to think much about, because I know myself...and I know that if I asked my acupuncturist precisely what was happening, and he told me that he was sending energy to my spleen, or something, I'd spend the entire time with my jaw and fists clenched, willing my spleen to flip over, or something.
I didn't want that. As Ted's pointed out, the benefits I've seen might be due to acupuncture - or they might be due to the fact that twice a week I spend 40 daytime minutes completely chilled out and resting, something I haven't really done for the past...ever.
Generally speaking, TCM and acupuncturists tend to concentrate less on the specific way it works, and more on the fact that it does. It's been around for millennia, and Western med people are just starting to really study it. In terms of PCOS, you can find studies that say it does work, (i.e., resulted in a live birth), and studies that say it doesn't do a thing.
For an overview, the Mayo Clinic gives a pretty succinct definition: "Traditional Chinese medicine explains acupuncture as a technique for balancing the flow of energy or life force — known as chi or qi (chee) — believed to flow through pathways (meridians) in your body. By inserting needles into specific points along these meridians, acupuncture practitioners believe that your energy flow will re-balance." Somewhat tellingly, the article goes on to say that "there's also evidence that acupuncture works best in people who expect it to work."
Okay, so, qi. On the one hand, what. On the other hand - maybe? See, I also do yoga....sometimes, with Youtube, on my kitchen floor. In yoga, instructors often talk about energy flow, too, or, in Sanskrit, prana. And, like, there are times when I think I feel that...even if it's literally just "really" my blood moving through my body, but, like, it's still there, you know? After a really intense yoga flow, or a situation where you spend a lot of time upside-down and then stand up quickly? You know?
There are those who think prana and qi are likely referring to the same (or a similar) thing. I....dk. Anyway, if you talk to acupuncturists, it's all about bringing balance back to your systems, getting to homeostasis, making sure that everything's moving properly. It's a little bit mystical, and, oddly, I like that.
But that's not very helpful for us 'We Like Data' Corgans, so, of course, I did a bunch of research. (Takes sip of sad tea.) As it turns out, there are three general Western Med theories for 'why acupuncture works', which, as my sister the nurse pointed out, is the most Western Med thing ever.
- Acupuncture works because the needles hit specific, carefully-mapped nerve points. When these nerves are stimulated, things happen in the body. Think of it like a massive control board, I guess. Sure.
- Acupuncture works because it basically helps reduce systemic inflammation...which is the cause of pretty much every ailment ever. (But really, a study [linked above] published by Harvard earlier this month found that acupuncture reduced chronic inflammation in mice, which, just imagine mice getting acupuncture!!!)
- Acupuncture works because, by making a bunch of micro-injuries (basically) at specific points in your body, it jumpstarts your body's natural healing processes. Your body is an incredible self-healer, and the thought is, if you tell your body that it needs to get to work, it'll start working on its own. The needles help as a consistent nudge.
Okay. For infertility specifically, there is also some thought that - just because acupuncture can reduce stress, by either direct or indirect means - the reduced stress can increase favorable outcomes. (This article also has a list of potential fertility-specific good outcomes.) We know that stress can cause or exacerbate infertility. This year has not exactly not been stressful. So. Sure, I can buy that.
For the purposes of this post, after about a month of treatment, I asked the acupuncturist what we were working on. Very generally, he said that the acupoints we were targeting on the outside of my body (the tops of my arms, the outside edges of my feet) were helping me be less anxious. The acupoints on the inside of my body (the underside of my arms, the inside edges of my feet) were directing energy+circulation directly to my uterus.
Good to know.
Here's what I've noticed:
Hey look! A list!
- My cycle math has started trundling in the right direction. The first part of my cycle got a day shorter; the second part, a day longer.
- That week that I was on my period? Zero pain. Zero cramps. Zero anything. Aside from, you know, the blood, I wouldn't have known I was on my period. This is huge; I generally have to set aside the first day of my period as one primarily dedicated to coping.
- An instant reduction in anxiety.
I am an INCREDIBLY anxious person. To take one example - driving. I've always hated it.
Way back in the day, it took me three tries each to pass my permit test and then my driver's test. (I'm ordinarily a very good test-taker.) I ended up getting a ticket the very first time I went out on my own, which probably didn't help. Even after I had my license, I usually chose to manipulate or bribe my sister into driving me around. I didn't drive a day that I was in college. I bought a car when I went to grad school, which I used minimally. I've also been in two (extremely minor, but still un-fun) car accidents.
Basically once Ted and I got together, I told him that he was taking the wheel. Permanently.
There's just something...idk, I get behind a wheel and I just KNOW I'm going to die. Or cause someone else pain. Or that something in my engine's going to explode and I don't know what to do. I start to shake. My skin feels weird. I go all white-knuckled, my mind wipes completely blank, and I forget how to, like, turn my headlamps on...just over the course of a very normal and safe drive that most people would do without thinking.
Basically, it's super fun, and I'm a very convenient person to hang out with.
I'd like to think I'm usually a pretty capable person, but there's something about getting into a murder box ("a car") that I've just never been able to do comfortably.
Cut to: On the way home from that first acupuncture appointment, I didn't perform my usual 30-step borderline-OCD car-and-route check. I got in my car, buckled in, and drove away.
I realized halfway home what I'd done, and freaked out...because I wasn't freaking out. I got home safely and wondered what the hell had just happened.
Over the next weeks, I noticed lots of examples of lessened anxiety:
- Where previously I'd pressured myself to get ALL THE THINGS done for my clients, like, early or way before deadline, I let myself take the time I needed...and I still got everything done.
- I fell asleep more easily.
- When I'd get frustrating emails, I'd deal with them and move on instead of letting them hang over my day.
- When a stressful event happened at work, I dealt with it. Later on, I literally thought about angsting about it, and was like, 'nah', so I didn't.
- BUT REALLY THE CAR THING.
Previously: Me [GETS IN CAR]. Instantly: death...IS aLL aRouND US THERE ARE SO MANY LIGHTS???? HOW DO. If one minute late WILL DIE. WHAT IS BEEPING NOISE breathing is hard WHAT IS THAT CAR DOING help halp halp help *HOLDS BREATH FOR REMAINDER OF JOURNEY* *GOES WRONG WAY ON CLEARLY-MARKED ONE-WAY STREET* *ages 47 years in one ten-minute drive*
Now: Me [GETS IN CAR] [DRIVES AWAY]. Ten minutes later: "Ooh, that's my jam!" [TURNS UP RADIO, BLASTS HANSON'S MMMBOP]
So...in acupuncture, we've been working on anxiety. I believe it.
From my perspective, my skepticism about Rebecca's acupuncture has been shrinking. Correlations keep building. Even with anecdotal evidence, I see one event as isolated (maybe a coincidence), two consecutive events as suspiciously trendy, and 3+ events as a smoking gun for some causal relationship.
The timeline went like this:
1. Rebecca started going to acupuncture.
2. Immediately after the first visit, she reported dramatically less anxiety and an easy drive home. (What now?! ...but possible placebo effect...)
3. With continued treatment, her general anxiety remained lower. (Hmmm...what if there's some confounding variable happening here?)
4. At the start of her next cycle, Rebecca reported zero pain or cramps. Highly unusual. What. The. Heck.
5. During a later acupuncture visit, she learned that many of the prior needle placements had been chosen to reduce anxiety. She had not been aware of that.
So it's pretty clear that something is afoot.
This has been a TedTalk.
Another benefit I've noticed is just the accountability of having someone keeping me on track. My acupuncturist is big into holistic, integrative medicine. He advised me to use the Think Dirty app to choose safer home products. (Sounds nsfw; it's safe, you're good.) He advised me to cut gluten and think carefully about sugar. As I mentioned last week, he wants me to do a Whole30-esque cleanse once I'm back from travel and etc.
Occasionally (all the time) I'm a people pleaser. My 'must be a good student' superpower gets activated very, very quickly. Having someone remind me twice a week that I need to do these things makes it more likely that I do them.
For what it's worth, it seems like the place I go is a very small POC-owned family-operated business; so, even though it's a little bit of a recurring investment, even though I don't know how long I'm going to be doing it, I am noticing benefits and I do want to support this business. Which, for now, is enough reason to keep trying it out.
Ted and I are in the midst of putting together our Project Waterbear Battle Plan, where we're figuring out based on everything we're learning exactly how much time and money we're willing to invest in various treatments. The PCOS diagnosis is helping shape that plan, as will future tests with my Napro. We'll probably share what we're planning in the future, but...we're not there yet! So, rn, I'm just ecstatic that I can drive; we'll see later how long we'll do it for any other benefits.
In the meantime:
You know how every once in a while, something happens that's just *too* convenient and your choices are either a) to look around suspiciously, suddenly sure that you're being followed or b) to chalk it up to the fact that Someone might be Up There watching you, occasionally making sure that you get what you need and use egregious+nonsensical capitalization when you talk about it?
When I got my PCOS diagnosis, all those eleven days ago, one of the things that was shocking and generally uncool was the idea that my treasured, pored-over, laminated/manicured/framed BBT charts might not...mean anything. I loved those charts. The idea that I could take my weird symptoms and a thermometer and get hard numbers and followable trends about my fertility? LOVE. I felt like I'd found a cheat code, or something. I had the map, guys.
Haha but really not.
SO, I need to learn how to draw a new map. As one v cool reader asked last week: Why would learning another charting system make a difference? Would Creighton be able to more reliably indicate ovulation and etc for a girl with PCOS?
I still have to learn about it, obvi--so if I get this wrong, hit me up: But, I don't think so. Instead, my Napro's recommending I do Creighton simply because he does further diagnoses and treatment based on Creighton info.
ANYWAY back to our suspicious or angelic coincidence. My Napro gave us the contact info for a few Creighton people, and we were getting prices and trying to figure out safe COVID meet-up plans and etc, when Ted noticed something on Twitter from mere hours before. Our local pregnancy center+women's shelter, a place that Ted and I love and regularly support, was offering Creighton lessons. New. Completely free. And...right down the street.
This is not normal.
I called them and scheduled an intro session. The person on the other end of the phone was overjoyed. They'd started marketing this new service just that day. And she also knows my Napro. (The Catholic infertility world is tiny?)
SO! That's on Tuesday. I'm getting excited. More on that later.
NEXT UP is a post about HSGs, or (wait for it) hysterosalpingograms, and the bucket of fun those are rumored to be. Likely, hopefully, the most invasive infertility test I'm going to be getting. Hopefully. We'll talk about those next time in more detail. Although, heads up, we might be taking a break for Labor Day travel. We'll see. Stay safe out there!
AFTER THAT, we'll talk about the differences between the three main charting systems: Sympto-Thermal, Creighton, and Marquette.
(Speaking of, I am ALWAYS interested in hearing topics that you guys might want me to write about??? It's ridiculously flattering, and also incredibly helpful, so THANK YOU to those who have reached out - I have at least three submitted ideas currently marinating those in the draft vault for coverage later this year. SO COOL...and, like, frickin' YAY.)
And then we'll go from there. Have a great last couple days of August, guys!