The One With a Bittersweet Buzz
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This week, we’re talking about the most commonly-available drug in America, as well as one of the words that I just can’t ever seem to spell correctly: caffeine. Coffee! Dark chocolate. Certain types of teas, and energy drinks galore. But mostly, coffee. A basic necessity for most of us, tbh. Does it affect preconception health? Fertility? Hormone stuff?
Because we all love coffee so much, this can be a sensitive subject, so I’m going to drop a TL;DR after this incredibly edited music video:
Does coffee affect hormones? You betcha.
Does that mean that people say that you can’t drink coffee while you’re pregnant/if you’re trying to get pregnant/ever? Um, obvi. One of the things that distinguishes humans from other species is that we loooooooooooooove telling people what to do. Even when we don’t have any experience or basis for doing so. #salt
Does that mean that you shouldn’t drink coffee? Neauxp. It means that it’s a nuanced consideration which you should decide for yourself after looking at all the data.
Ultimately, will drinking a moderate amount of caffeine likely be really, really bad for me? I mean, check with your doctor, make the decision for yourself, and don’t pay attention to a rando blog for health advice, but, if it helps, what I’m seeing from the research is that in most cases, drinking minimal to moderate amounts of coffee (or other sources of caffeine) is probably fine. Particularly if you’re not yet pregnant. Calm down. For anecdotal evidence, we turn to:
~AN ILLUSTRATIVE STORY~
Once upon a time, I went to visit my acupuncturist. (‘Once upon a time’ = four days ago.) In our initial consult, the acupuncturist asked me about my habits, my lifestyle choices, and any concerns I had about my health in addition to infertility, the stated rationale for my visit. I yammered on for a bit about giving up dairy and going on my sun walks, then timidly told him that I did have a concern about the amount of coffee I was drinking.
[Background! For the past, say, three years, I’ve been pretty religious about drinking decaf, with the very very occasional caffeinated beverage as a fun treat when I had a lot of work to do. Maybe six weeks ago, I decided to start drinking regular coffee, because I wanted to, and I had a lot of work to do, like, all the time. And….we back in.]
“Okay,” said my acupuncturist. It had been an EXTREMELY validating consult thus far, with the guy very sweetly listening to my diatribe about my ideas about my symptoms and my overly-detailed research while taking copious notes. He set down his pen and looked at me.
“If you’re concerned, I’m sure there’s something we can do about that. Can you tell me about how much coffee you drink on a daily basis?”
I gathered my breath. “Twelve...ounces. Every morning. At five.” I steeled myself, waiting for a mountain of disapproval.
He blinked, picked up his pen, made a note. He made a funny face, then looked up at me quizzically for a moment, before quickly putting his serene/calming face back on. “That’s really...uh. Okay. Um. It’s...that’s not bad. You know that, right?”
[For reference, 12oz is a starbucks ‘tall’.]
10/10 recommend this guy (I’ll get you deets if you live in the Cincy area) for how he handled a spaz like me in this scenario, haha. Anyway. Caffeine (and wild overreactions); let’s talk about it!
DISCLAIMER: Because I’m a non-pregnant kinda girl at the moment, I’m doing this research specifically without pregnancy in mind. Research does indicate that a carefully considered amount of caffeine during pregnancy is likely fine, but many women choose to go decaf when pregnant, and that’s great. I’m not going to be talking about the effects of caffeine on developing kiddos in this piece, though, because that doesn’t apply to me quite yet. That said, none of this is medically legit advice, just a compilation of what I’m finding while researching stuff for myself.
ANYWAY. On from the anecdotal and onto the clinical! (The advance cry of the lamest vanguard in the world, of which I’m the proud and only member.) ONWARD!
What does caffeine do to your body?
A different once upon a time, I was a graduate student in a developmental biology program. One of the first days of school, when we were just doing initial rotations between different labs, we stopped by the cardiac department. One of the older students was doing an experiment on the effects of caffeine and alcohol on the heart rate of chick embryos, so she was cutting into fertilized eggs and dropping various liquids into them, then taking notes.
Us newbie grad students were all like OMG WHAT IS THAT (imagine harry in sorcerer’s being all amazed at, like, the moving portraits in chocolate frog cards; now, imagine ron being extremely unimpressed, and you’ll have a decent take on the dynamic). She kindly let us watch as she continued her experiment.
She used a pair of nail scissors to cut the shell off a very ordinary-looking egg. Inside, we saw a yellow yolk floating in whites, and a red lacy thing laying on top. That, she told us, was the growing chick embryo’s developing nervous and cardiac systems. We could see the lil’ guy’s rudimentary heart beating. IT WAS VERY COOL.
We then watched as she used an eye dropper to drip some pure alcohol (ethanol) on the embryo. We watched some more. The heartbeat slowed. Then, she used a different dropper to expose the embryo to pure liquid caffeine. We continued to watch.
The heartbeat drummed faster.
It wouldn’t be exaggerating to say that this anecdote was a bit scarring (I may or may not still think of it when I have a strong coffee after a particularly fun evening), but it certainly drove the point home: caffeine, at its heart (and yours!), is a stimulant. It makes things go faster.
This is probably not a surprise.
What may be a surprise: Its downstream effects on you, possibly? Idk, man, we’re all different.
Anyway, we’ll go bad-news-first so we can end smiling:
Caffeine and fertility: cons
Caffeine works by stimulating the central nervous system/adrenals, which has a lot of downstream effects. At high concentrations, it can increase your blood pressure and heart rate. It can have a loooooot of ungreat side effects, not the least of which is that it’s highly addictive. There are some studies which may indicate a limited ability of your body to get used to it and compensate physiologically, and it’s a pretty common belief that caffeine tolerance - for most of us - is a real thing. The danger, at that point, is that you need more and more caffeine to feel it….and there is a point at which too much is really too much.
(The Mayo Clinic suggests that that line is probably, for most people, when you’re consistently drinking more than four cups of coffee a day. Rhett and Link helpfully note in the below video that 300 cups of coffee will double-kill you.)
Okay! Coffee, PSA, be careful, we get it. Why’s it an issue with fertility specifically? I’ve seen three main theories. (There are probably more.)
- Stress/cortisol: Caffeine is a stressor, obvi. That’s why it works, it gets you up and going and minimally frantic, but, like, in a good way. However, it does so by raising cortisol, your favorite stress hormone. Spoilers, because we’re definitely going to be talking about stress and preconception health later, but stress is not good for making babies. Even stressors that we like iced with cinnamon and oat milk. Life is hard, it’s fine.
- Dehydration: Caffeine is a mild diuretic. Being dehydrated isn’t good for being or becoming pregnant. (It also stresses your body out, so, see above.)
- Lack of blood flow to fun fertility places: According to some theories, the vasoconstrictive (‘your veins get smaller’) action of caffeine results in your body’s blood priorities shifting to ‘essential organs only’ … which does not include your reproductive organs, as it turns out. Perhaps as a result (PERHAPS, or maybe this is just something else that happens), there are some studies which show (in model organisms) that normal fertility activities like fallopian tubes doing their normal thing just don’t happen as much after caffeine exposure. None of which is conducive to fertility. (It’s like the same coffee which helps you do your thing might put your reproductive organs to sleep LOL SADNESS.)
Also, if you’re ready for something REALLY not fun, there is some evidence that moderate amounts of caffeine are linked with recurrent miscarriage. (I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hear that, either. Misery, company, etc.)
However, ‘moderate’ was defined by this study as 300mg/day, and by that first study as ‘more than two beverages’; so, we're still generally getting the gist that if you drink a cup in the morning, hakuna. (Check the caffeine levels in your specific coffee, if you’re interested in calculating your intake. Aaaand, pro tip: Don’t drink ‘Death Wish Coffee’ if you want to create life.)
TL;DR, again: This post, written by a female health expert whose research I generally trust, summarizes a lot of the research pointing to caffeine+fertility = bad. BUT WAIT if you actually click on the links and read the papers (which I did), it turns out that the women in those studies who had the adverse outcomes drank more than four cups of coffee a day. Sew.
Anyway. You in the mood for some good news? I know I am.
Caffeine and fertility: pros
Because all that other stuff made me feel gloomy, like a good researcher, I went and typed a few iterations of “can caffeine improve fertility” into the google magic bar, and nothing came up. SAD FACE
(however, it’s not like I need reasons or justifications to drink coffee, so maybe that’s a good thing?)
But, okay, here’s theorizing: (A minimal to moderate amount of) caffeine makes me happy, helps me get stuff done, and makes it 93% more likely that I’ll remember to do laundry, clean up the kitchen, and make healthy food and stuff, which is 100% necessary for lowering my stress. (And for having the time and energy to do other things that are necessary for having kids.) So, there’s that. It’s a crutch, but it’s there.
In other words, quality of life and mental health are important. So, if coffee supports that, that's ... good.
How to make the decision for yourself:
Here are a few tips that will likely be useful for just about any biohacking project you wanna take on, including to-coffee-or-not-to-coffee:
- Get committed to using yourself as an experiment. That involves being able to observe yourself pretty objectively, writing your experiences down, and being willing to modulate your habits. If you have any conditions that make experimenting unwise, such as health stuff or having a needy alien growing inside you, save the experimentation for later (or for those who know what they’re doing).
- Consider your values. If you know what you want, what you really really want, I mean, go for it. If you know you need to change something for excellent reasons, that’s also good to consider. Set up your ‘why’, basically’. My ‘why’ is ‘I want to have a kid, for some reason’. This means I’ve got to read the real research on caffeine and fertility, and not be an idiot when I find things I don’t like. (It also means I should listen to my acupuncturist and not freak out when what I find tells me that a minimal amount of coffee is probably fine.)
- Consider your goals, and make them realistic and actionable ones, and make sure they’re related to your ‘why’. Sub-goals are the stuff of champions. Baby steps, guys. A sub-goal of ours might currently be to investigate caffeine consumption, and find a level that works for us (from none to some). According to #1, I have to be willing to at least consider upping or lowering my caffeine consumption, and noting the effects when I do, and following their logical outcomes.
Right now, after looking at all the above data and tracking my health info pretty carefully, I have decided to let myself drink between 12-16 oz of french press coffee in the mornings, pretty carefully measured out and brewed to be below that 300mg/day number. I’m doing this because coffee makes me feel all sunshine and rainbows and ‘anything is possible’, and I’m going through a bit of an incredibly busy work time.
I’m also strategically using a coffee indulgence now to help me build some good productivity habits, with the idea that when I wean off coffee I’ll (hopefully) have those habits cemented. And I do say ‘when’, because I’ll likely give myself (undetermined number) cycles to enjoy having caffeine for a while, and if we’re not seeing any results, I’ll cut back or eliminate it at that point SAD FACE.
But for now, I’m golden. At my carefully modulated, measured, and maintained levels of reckless, spontaneous fun. #rebel
NOTE again that if I get pregnant, that’s a completely different game. We’ll cross that bridge later. Also, if my charts get worse or seem to indicate that I’m undergoing new stress, I’ll shift habits to correct. Currently, they’re continuing to improve, so I think I’m okay….for now.
psa // How to make coffee taste better:
I was a barista for a hot minute (read: I worked at Panera) and I’ve always been pretty snobby as a result for good coffee. (I’m not saying Panera is good coffee; just that I’m an unapologetic fancypants.) There are lots of ways you can make mediocre coffee taste good, or good coffee taste great, or decaf coffee taste un-sad, fyi. Here are a few tips, ranging from easy to insane:
- Add a pinch of something to your grounds. Salt takes away bitterness, cocoa adds depth, cinnamon/nutmeg can add a slight spiciness and assist with systemic inflammation. Doing this also makes you feel like a magical apothecary, which is always a feeling I can use a little more of in the morning.
- Brew it right. It’s more involved than you think, but it’s not hard. Here’s a good guide.
- Get a milk frother. If you like cream in your coffee, it’s worth the $8 it’ll cost you.
- If you can, grind your own beans. A burr grinder will make this easier, and there’s something about releasing the oils of the beans just before you drown them that makes the coffee really tick. I use a cheap hand-op grinder and have just made it a part of my morning routine on the days I want really good coffee.
- If you can, roast your own beans. It kinda requires specialized equipment though, your oven likely won’t work. Heads up from Past Rebecca that this is a great way to find out if your oven roasts evenly or not (my oven very did not):
- If you can, grow your own beans. JUST KIDDING don’t do this.
- If you can, trade your cow for magic beans. Because, dishonor on your cow. Also because, duh, magic beans. There are no cautionary tales for strange things that will happen if you do this.
Alternatively, suggestions for going decaf if that’s what you want:
I have a CRAZY revelation to tell you: Going off caffeine sucks. Withdrawal is hard. And you likely don’t have a lot time in which you have nothing to do but lay on the couch looking at your phone blearily and wondering why life is so hard, which is what I do when I’m going through caffeine or sugar withdrawal. (I mean, that sounds like what a lot of us are doing because COVID, but, cheer up! It’ll get worse before it gets better!)
Based on a couple of protocols for withdrawal, here are some good strategies for doing so in a less-sucky way:
- The first week or so you’re planning on withdrawing, unless there’s a really good reason for going cold turkey, don’t. Instead, simply try to become more aware of how much caffeine you’re consuming, and how it’s making you feel.
- Next, simply consider swapping out some of your caffeinated products for half-caf or decaf versions some of the time. If you drink eighteen coffees a day, make the last one half-caf for a bit. Note how you feel. Wait until that feels okay. Then keep going.
- Get yourself some goodies to help with good energy boosts. Swap in a green tea every once in a while. Healthy sugars, healthy fats, same deal. The novelty of these treats will help ease your journey into the bitter, cruel world of lowered caffeine consumption you’ll be entering (join us!).
- Remember your ‘why’. That value-thing I talked about 1000 words ago. Motivation is fun. (Remember motivation?)
- Try to modulate your work situation for a bit, and don’t do extra social stuff while you’re withdrawing. In other words: Do not murder your coworkers, friends and family.
- Embrace the fact that it’s gonna suck. (This is where your ‘why’ will come in handy)
Anyway. This has been….caffeine and fertility. Sorry it was rather a buzzkill.
NEXT WEEK, join us as we try to answer the surprisingly difficult question ‘What is NaPro’? NaPro, TCM, or some combo thereof, increasingly seems to be the way we’ll be proceeding. We’ve covered a bit of TCM stuff (and will do so going forward), so we thought it was time to talk about NaPro a bit….before I have my first NaPro consult later this month.
AFTER THAT, we’re going to talk about fertility….and its relationship to body weight. HEADS UP, if you don’t want to hear about weight loss, discuss specific weight loss numbers and strategies, or hear about diets and workouts and stuff with their relationship to weight (WHICH I TOTALLY GET), please skip this post. This has been your one trigger warning. (LOL not really there will be several, I know it can be a sensitive subject. But it’s one I want to discuss, for my purposes, so...I’m gonna.)
As always, thanks for reading! Have a great week!
Resources not linked above:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/the-buzz-about-caffeine-and-health
https://uhs.umich.edu/caffeine