Bluebeard II

Welcome back! We're going through Charles Perrault's original Bluebeard story, helpfully providing him with some hot takes. We'll see if it helps--he has yet to take my advice for some reason? Last time, we left off with Bluebeard marrying his unnamed wife. Let's continue, shall we?

A month after their marriage, Bluebeard informs his wife that he’s going out of town for at least six weeks, “about affairs of very great consequence.” I hope he gave her more of an explanation than that. He seems to want to make sure that she’s okay, or at least entertained, in his absence, though—sweet of him; sure there’s no secondary motive whatsoever, here. “Invite your friends,” he says. “Go back to the lakehouse,” he says. “Make good cheer!” So far, so good. My husband has said similar things to me before he’s away on business, albeit sans reference to a lakehouse, unfortunately.

Bluebeard continues. He hands her a ring of keys. “This one opens two wardrobes,” he says. “Inside of these wardrobes, I keep my very best furniture.” Well, that seems pointless, but if it’s the hard/embroidered/gilded type which Perrault seems to fancy, I suppose no-one was going to be sitting on or otherwise using it anyway. Also: big wardrobe. Cool. 

He also keeps “gold and silver plate,” (either ingots or, like, silverware, I think) in these wardrobes, as well as lockboxes full of cash and “caskets of jewels”. Well, we knew he was loaded. Bluebeard holds up another key. “This one’s the master key for the house. It opens every door.” Yay for skeleton keys! 

“This key, this one right here,” he continues to say, opens a closet on the ground floor. It’s a very small key. It’s a closet in a large estate, an estate which she was probably going to abandon in favor of the lakehouse. If this is going where I think it’s going, Bluebeard, bb, why mention it? 

Because he laughs in the face of danger (whether for him or another), apparently. He goes on to bait the trap: “Open them all,” he says, referring to a bunch of doors in his mansion. “Except that little closet, which I forbid…in such a manner, that if you happen to open it, you may expect my…resentment.” Just typical, fun marital conversations. 

Depending on what Bluebeard’s aims are in this conversation (which are pretty clear just based on foreshadowing: there are missing wives, there is a Small Forbidden Chamber, he’s being suitably ominous), he could be doing this very well or very poorly. It also depends on how well he knows his wife. Let’s break it down. There are two possible reactions to this statement: “Oh, okay, then [MINDS BUSINESS]” or “Oh, okay, then [MAKES BEELINE FOR CLOSET OF SECRETS].” 

If he wanted his wife to survive (“resentment” sounds murder-y), he could either a) have not mentioned it, or b) have come up with any explanation at all: “It’s where I keep my unlaundered gym gear/it’s where the mad bees go/the contractor hasn’t put a floor in there yet, it’s a lava pit/the key doesn’t work, lol, just trying to save you some frustration.” And we’d like to think at this point that he wants his wife to survive, even if he’s rather jaded about that being a possibility due to his potentially heartbreaking past experience of Wives Who Die (Why?). 

Of course, this is a very generous reading of the situation for Bluebeard, but I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt at the beginning of a story. If he doesn’t want his wife to survive, well, by all means, bait her in the same way you probably did your previous wives. Maybe he is legally required to provide this information, or he’s cursed, or something (still wanna believe in my boy). I mean, imagine: If you were cursed with a Mandatory Murder Chamber in your home wherein everyone who went in there died or later had to be offed for whatever reason (I assume), what would you do? You wouldn’t want to not say anything and then afterward have to deal with the legal repercussions of not having issued appropriate disclaimers. That’s a lot of paperwork. 

Okay, just going to say (to recap) that I’m going into the rest of this with two major possibilities: He’s saying all this gleefully, because he’s a homicidal maniac, or he’s legitimately trying to protect her/any guests of hers from a dangerous situation (regardless, rn, of whether that “dangerous situation” is ultimately himself). 

Onward. Second Daughter gives her word that she won’t open the closet, which seems like a lack of self-knowledge on her part. Or that she’s a liar, in which case—fair. He kisses her and takes off.  

All of Second Daughter’s friends don’t wait for an invite, they descend upon the home. Everyone is very curious to see the inside of the local millionaire’s casa; but no-one wanted to visit while Bluebeard is home, because apparently his very blue beard = very scary. Different times. Also, I wonder if it’s less his blue beard which gives off weird vibes and more just his potentially menacing aura, or something like that: and these people in Before 1690 had a hard time putting that into words, so they just quickly said, “it’s the blue beard, duh, that’s why we don’t like him.” Be more introspective, guys. 

The house doesn’t disappoint, and everyone’s having a great time: “They ran through all the rooms, closets, and wardrobes, which were all so fine and rich that they seemed to surpass one another.” I’m assuming all closets except one, Perrault. (Note to CP: Precision is important, even in fiction.) 

The entire first floor run over, the guests went upstairs to look at some more rooms, in this case, the rooms which held Bluebeard’s most prized furniture. (So are the aforementioned “wardrobes” just special rooms? Might have to go to the French for this one, that seems confusing.) The guests do not have within themselves the ability to admire everything, that’s how fine Bluebeard’s stuff is. They’re wigging out. It’s so fun. Perrault notes that some of Bluebeard’s very fine mirrors were “framed with glass”, which is a puzzler for me, but I’ll get over it. 

At every turn, Second Daughter’s friends are gushing about how lucky Second Daughter is; however, she’s not having as great a time. She “in no way diverted herself in looking upon all these rich things, because of the impatience she had to go and open the closet on the ground floor.” Aha! That didn’t take long. 

Things should get spicy next time. We out.